The 85th Academy Awards

Finally, the culmination of the awards season has come, the Oscars. This is the show where all the actresses bring out the big guns. Designers wait with bated breath to see if an A-lister has chosen their gown to be the one to walk down the red carpet. Thank god that this year they went back to the formula of having an actual comedian host the ceremony. I am still trying to erase the memory of Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting from my mind. Sadly, this year some of my favorite red carpet divas were absent. No J.Lo and no Eva Longoria. Still, there were other ladies who brought the fierce. Here are my top picks for best and worst dressed of the evening.

The Best:

5. 

 

Naomi Watt in Armani Prive.

I love the futuristic feel of this Armani gown. The asymmetrical neckline takes it from being just another sequined dress to something more. Naomi Watts is a real fashion girl, and this is definitely a fashion-forward choice. 

4.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zuhair Murad. 

She doesn't even need to make movies anymore. All she has to do is show up looking like this, and everyone will know that she's a true movie star. I like to think that her look for Oscar night was inspired by Oscar himself, because she totally looks like the statuette! 

3.

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior.

This is usually the exact opposite of what I usually like, but I love it! She looks like a princess, in the best possible way. This is the perfect choice for winning an Oscar.

2.

Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen.
I don't usually like velvet gowns too much, and I don't usually like a high halter neckline, but I adore this! The house of Alexander McQueen can do no wrong in my book. I also like that Salma is changing things up by keeping the girls under wraps. Fabulous!

1.

Jessica Chastain in Armani Prive.
Apparently this dress was inspired by the one Marilyn Monroe wore to sing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" to JFK. The glittering nude tone definitely brings to mind Marilyn's almost-naked dress. This Armani gown has a beautiful coppery colour to it, which pairs perfectly with Jessica's flame-coloured hair. Perfection!

1.

Honorable Mentions:

These ladies didn't quite make my top five, but still look pretty fierce.

Sally Field in Valentino.

I love Sally Field. And this dress is gorgeous! Simply stunning.

Jennifer Hudson in Roberto Cavalli.

I love love love this dress! Gorgeous. She might have made the top five if it weren't for the shoes. They looks like cheap bridesmaids shoes and they don't even match the colour of her dress. Jimmy Choo = most expensive cheap-looking shoes. Otherwise, perfection!

Maria Menounos in Ramona Keveva.

Ok, just try to look beyond the terrible pagent queen hair, and you will find that this dress is gorgeous. The Peptol-Bismol pink manages to look sophisticated when done in a body-hugging mermaid shape. In fact, the colour is my favorite thing about this whole look!

Charlize Theron in Dior.

This lady looks better than anyone else in Dior. You can't really tell in a photograph, but the peplum of the dress is entirely covered with pearl beads. I am not a huge fan of the super-short hair, but I guess she had to cut it for a movie role, and she manages to rock it pretty well.

Kerry Washington in Miu Miu.

I love this coral shade, and the jewel-encrusted bodice is stunning. The bow makes me think of Jackie O, which I love. Gorgeous!

Octavia Spencer in Taashi Shoji.

This woman (or her stylist) knows how to dress for her body. She looks like Cinderella! It's hard to see in the photo, but the bodice is embellished with pearl beading. Stunning.

The Worst:

5.

Melissa McCarthy in David Meister. Just because she is a big girl doesn't mean she can't look good. It isn't tailored properly at all, it actually looks too big! I feel like by covering every inch of skin she actually looks bigger than she really is. And the colour is not glam enough for the Oscar red carpet.

4.

Naomie Harris in Michael Badger. This is the winning gown for the Red Carpet Green Dress Chanllenge. Barf. That slit is ridiculous. Everyone can almost see her lady bits. And the pattern on the top looks like a giraffe.

3.

Helena Bonham-Carter in Vivienne Westwood.

WTF??!!?? She looks like the Wicked Witch of the West. That was probably the look she was going for, though, so mission accomlished!

 2.

Brandi Glanville wearing....Brandi Glanville?
Yes, apparently she designed this dress herself. Which clearly expains why it looks so slutty. Before we can even address this atrocity that is her gown, I have to ask, WTF is she even doing at the Oscars? Did she sneak in while security was looking the other way? Is she someone more important's date? Back to the dress. It doesn't even fit her boob job. Speaking of boob job, she should really ask for her money back, because it looks terrible. This particular shade of beige is doing her no favours. I think the one work that sums this whole look (and her) up is desperate.

1.

Anne Hathaway in Prada.
Ew, I hate this dress. Those aren't actually her nipples, but darts. How such a pretigious fashion house could make such a simple mistake in the design is beyond me. It looks like her highbeams are on. The high square neckline is reminiscent of the '90s. And the necklace is all wrong with the dress. The colour totally washes her out, too. Unfortunately, she will never be able to forget this dress, since she won an Oscar in it.

The Grammy Awards 2013

Over the last few years the red carpet at the Grammys has cleaned itself up. In past years, it has been full of Lil' Kim with nipple pasties, J.Lo in a dress cut down to her bellybutton, and Lady Gaga almost flashing her lady bits onstage. This year, though, there wasn't much of anything that would raise any eyebrows. I, for one, like a bit of scandal on the red carpet. It gives us all something to talk about. If rockstars aren't going to push the fashion envelope, then who will? Anyhow, here is my list of best and worst dressed of the evening.

Best:

#5.

 Taylor Swift in J. Mendel.
 Taylor could have ranked a little higher on my list, but I hate her hair. Her bangs are too blunt, and the braid is so 2009. Otherwise, I think she looks beautiful. I love the Greek goddess style dress with the silver accents. Often Taylor ages herself by dressing too maturely, but this dress is a perfect choice.
#4.

 Chrissy Teigen in Joy Cioci.
I don't know who this is, but she looks hot! The only way it is acceptable to show your stomach anywhere other than the beach, is if only the area above the bellybutton is exposed. The slit is just the right height, and I am so glad she is not doing the Angelina Leg. Angelina looked like enough of an idiot doing it herself, imitators only look that much more ridiculous. I also really like her side swept hair and her contrasting clutch bag.

#3.

 Solange Knowles in Ralph and Russo Couture.
I love this emerald sequined gown. The exaggerated shoulders make it more fashion-forward, and I love her contrasting Louboutin heels. Although she sort of is the lesser of the two Knowles sisters, she won the style contest this night.

#2.

Kelly Rowland in Georges Chakra.
Despite the newly implemented dress code at this year's awards ceremony denoting "no visible breast or buttocks flesh, and be sure the genital region is covered so there is no visible puffy bare skin exposure." What on earth is "puffy" bare skin???? So weird. Kelly Rowland flashed some definite breast flesh. I say, what are the Grammys without a little breast and buttocks? She looks pretty amazing to me!

 #1.
 
 Rihanna in Alaia.
I must say it is a welcome change to see Rihanna in something soft and feminine instead of her usual full-on sexy. I love her in red, and I like that she matched her lipstick shade to her dress. I feel like this dress is elegant enough to be considered worthy of the Oscars. Although really, why would Rihanna get invited to the Oscars? Good thing she wore it tonight!

Worst:


#5.

 Beyonce in Osman.
Put on a dress. It's the Grammys. She looks like she is going to dinner, not to the music industry's most prestigious evening. Now, I know she's bootylicious and everything, but her ass looks huge. This tapered pant is doing her no favors. I feel like someone like Beyonce needs to really bring it at the Grammys, and she definitely fell way short of that.

#4.

 Florence Welch in Givenchy.

 This is a Halloween costume. A good one too, I can totally tell that she's a dinosaur. I know that Florence Welch is "quirky" or a free spirit or whatever, but come on. Her dress has horny protrusions. The really sad part is that if you took off the weird horns this dress would be amazing. In fact, it would probably would have made my best dressed list. Instead, I sentence her to return to Jurassic Park!

 #3.

 Adele in Valentino. 

Gross. She looks like a couch from the seventies. And the matching shoes are so bad! I wish Adele would sex things up a little bit, she always looks so covered up and frumpy.

 #2.

 

 

Lisa D'Amato.

She looks like she is in character at Disneyland. This is just plain ridiculous. She can't possibly think that this looks good. Although, if you are a bit of a nobody wearing an atrocious dress is one way to get noticed. 

 

 #1.

 Lila Downs.

 This is just plain crazy. There really is nothing else to say. I think the Grammy academy needs to reassess their new dress code, because I would rather see "puffy" bare skin than this atrocity any day.

 

The 2013 Screen Actors Guild Awards

Ah, the SAG awards, where all the stars get to pat each other on the back. It's less fancy than the Golden Globes and, of course, the Oscars, but all the stars get drunk, so it's definitely worth a watch. As per usual, for every beautiful gown on the red carpet, there were multiple fashion train wrecks. So, here is my list! Let me know who was your best and worst. Just to change it up, I'm saving the best for last.

Worst:
5.

 Lea Michele in Valentino.
I will say I like the colour. That is it, though. The satiny fabric looks cheap, and the bottom of the dress looks like a dust ruffle. I hate her hair (is anyone else over ombre?), and the neckline is not at all flattering.
 4.

 

 Rose Byrne in Valentino. First of all, this dress is all wrong for January; it looks way too summery. Second of all, I hate it. The colours wash her out, and I hate the ruffle down the sides. Also, I think her hair looks really gross.
 3.

 Jennifer Lawrence in Dior.
 What is wrong with this girl? She had a such a great fashion year in 2012, and she's just continually missing the mark lately. And always with Dior! Maybe she should find a different designer. Ok, so this is terrible. It's all wrinkly, I hate the seam or whatever at her knees, and I hate the stupid strapless straight-across neckline. Plus, it's too long.
2.

Anne Hathaway in Giambattista Valli. 

I am just going to put it out there that I hate her new haircut. Anne, now that you're done playing a hooker dying of syphilis in Les Mis, please grow your hair back. Tall people always look better with long hair. And as for the dress, barf. I loathe all that tulle, it brings back terrifying prom memories. The length is super awkward, and the cut is just not flattering to her body. 

1.

Sigourney Weaver in Lanvin.
And the Worst Dressed Award goes to....! Normally I love Lanvin, but apparently Sigourney Weaver decided to wear this one backwards. Yes. I can't say how much better it would have been worn the right way around, but I feel like anything is better than this. Her whole top half looks like a big square, and even the waistband is unflattering. This one is a big miss.

 Best:
 5.

Marion Cotillard in Dior.
This dress is totally not the style that I usually like, but I think this looks super chic. I love the colour, the contrasting bodice, the pockets, and I love that you can see her shoes! Tres chic.
4.

Nina Dobrev in Elie Saab.
Oh, how I love pink! This is so elegant, but still really fresh in such a bright colour. I love the subtle cutouts, and her dangly earrings are a perfect finishing touch. P.S. Does anyone actually know who this girl is?

3.

Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta.
Dang, is Tina Fey looking good lately! I love the sweetheart neckline (always a flattering choice), and I really love the belt! More and more, I am loving belts added to gowns. Tres chic! Her Old-Hollywood hairstyle is fab, and she looks dang hot!

2.

Nicole Kidman in Vivienne Westwood.
Stunning. Just try to ignore the frozen face for a moment, and you will see how truly gorgeous she looks here. This is the Nicole we know and love, the one who works a red carpet like nobody's business. The navy sequins over the sheer underlay are so exquisite, and the slit is the perfect height. Definitely a win.

1.

Amanda Seyfried in Zac Posen.
This is simply gorgeous. I love how she added a modern touch to her mermaid gown with a long pendant. The deep blue shade brings out her eyes, and the cut is really flattering to her shape. Her Veronica Lake hairstyle perfectly finishes off the look. Love it!